Driving in Pittsburgh is like experiencing a horror film firsthand. You never know what scary creature is lurking around the corner or which ordinary seeming person will turn out to be a threat. Although it may seem a bit dramatic, there is a more to be wary of while behind the wheel in my city than there is in many other US cities.
When I moved to Ohio, I had to take the written drivers test to get my license. The most amusing question to me was around what you should do if you hit a deer while driving. I learned that you could take it home with you, provided you reported it appropriately. That question is no longer amusing to me! Deer are beautiful creatures, who also happen to be massive and do not comprehend our road laws. If you’ve ever had one jump out in front of you, then you know the horrible feeling of not wanting to hit Bambi’s friend and at the same time, fearing for the safety of yourself. My cousin has run into this scenario so many times they call him The Deer Slayer. Tell me that nickname doesn’t sound like the title to a scary film??
By definition, a zombie is “a person who moves very slowly and is not aware of what is happening especially because of being very tired.” You know exactly what I’m referring to if you’ve ever driven through “dahntahn” (aka downtown for people not from Pittsburgh). There are zombies everyone, well-disguised as your average pedestrian. The other day on my way into work, two people on two different parts of the road each looked directly at my car, which had the right-of-way, then proceeded to casually stroll into the road directly in front of me. Fortunately, I was able to slam on my brakes, not hit the Zombie AND not get rear-ended, but it definitely got my heart racing. Alert to Yinzers: You do not always have the right of way. Sorry. It’s just the law.
We’ve all encountered these in school: people who push others around to accomplish their goals. On the Steel City roads, this stereotype takes the form of the public buses. They take liberties of running newly turned red lights, cutting off other drivers abruptly, and turning onto crosswalks that are a little too populated for comfort. To be fair, they do get cutoff a lot themselves (who wants to be caught behind a vehicle that makes frequent stops?) and they have timetables they have to meet. Still, I get fearful of being bullied when I have to share the road with one of these buses.